Give Thanks....

Sorry I waited so long; I was waiting for most of Thanksgiving to be over to inspire my thankfulness. I figure that nothing can bring out some good ideas more than a holiday and lots of brain food. LOTS! Of course there are the simple things I take for granted that I am so thankful for but considering the circumstances of the past few months, something particular sticks out. There are people that have come and gone from my life that have given me so much inspiration and hope that they deserve my attention and thanks most of all. This fall I have lost both my private saxophone teacher, Mr. Felsen and my uncle, Robert Cupo. Although this has been extremely hard for me when I look back at what they both have done for me I am so thankful they were involved in my life for as long as they were. Mr. Felsen was my band director in middle school; he basically guided me from sixth grade to my junior year. I remember in sixth grade, it was the first time I would have to audition for a chair in the band and I was scared out of my mind. I went into Mr. Felsen’s office and started to play the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” and as I approached the chorus of the song Mr. Felsen started signing along, and I ended up with first chair. He made me so comfortable with playing and he was the one who instilled the passion for music that I still live for today. He started a jazz band when I was in eighth grade just for me and made sure I was the first one to sign up when he posted the sheet. He also sold me my most prized possession, a Selmer Mark VI alto saxophone. It is beautiful and it personally belonged to him, he sold me this amazing saxophone for significantly less than its real value. I can’t even express the sacrifices he made for me. After I graduated middle school he allowed me to be assistant director of the jazz band and I started taking private lessons with him on the side. I never met a more encouraging person. Even in his final days, I would bring him gifts and send him cards when he was in the hospital and he would pretend he was doing much better so I wouldn’t worry. He was one on the strongest men I have ever met who fought to the end and would do anything for me and my pursuits. He worked with me and helped me achieve my goals and his sense of humor was so inspiring. I will never forget one of the most important things he ever said to me “I will gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today.” We had a lot of inside jokes; I was the only one who seemed to get his references. He was truly a class act who loved what he did and never gave up on me. He had no doubt I would succeed in life and now everything I do in the music world, I do for Mr. Felsen, I won’t let him down. In this world I feel like few people really believe in me, he made sure I knew he had faith in me and I couldn’t be more thankful for the time we shared, I only wish I could have had a little more.

My Uncle Bob is another person I wish I could have more time with because he was a truly compassionate uncle who cared so much about me and my sister while my other uncles never seemed interested. We never saw him often after my grandma died because of family issues with my aunt but that’s not really important right now. Anyway we saw him maybe a few times a year, but he always called us at least twice a month just to talk. He never called to just talk to my dad, even when we weren’t home and he left a message it would be “Hi John, Jill, Sandy, and Stephie” Yeah, my family calls my Stephie, every single one of them! We mattered to my uncle. We I got on the phone he would ask me about everything: band, driving, girl scouts, vacation, summer homework, projects, etc… He would tell me stories about when he was a kid and about my dad. We would talk about anything and everything and if I ever seemed negative or unsure, like when I was going for my license, he was always there to tell a funny story and encourage me. Then when we would start to wrap things up on the phone he would always makes sure, even if he called from work, to say “I love you” and not just with a mumbled “let-me-say-this-because-I–have-to” tone. I could always hear the emotion in the way he talked and it made me feel important when he was actually interested in my life. For his funeral I made a poster of all the pictures we took together since my sister was a baby and I realized that he, more than any of my other relatives, was always there for me. He wasn’t my god-father, but I always think he is because he went above and beyond the call of “uncle” to make me and Sandy happy no matter what age. He also believed in me and cared about me. He was the ideal uncle, he is not just that guy you say hi to and then never talk to because he’s too busy. He makes the time. I know this seems like a depressing topic and of course I miss both of them so much, but looking back on what they added to my life make me so thankful that I wish gifted enough to have them around. I haven’t been too cheerful in a while because I felt like my life was falling apart and I almost thought, I have nothing to be thankful for this year, but it all depends on how you look at a situation. Given the option, I’m glad I had Mr. Felsen and my Uncle Bob in my life for as long as they were, rather than not at all. I will always live my life thinking of them and trying to make them proud, their eternal faith in me is the ultimate gift that surely deserves me thanks! Thank you Uncle Bob and Mr. Felsen…..for everything!